Prior to my first viewing of The Walking Dead last summer, I never gave disaster preparation
much thought. I'd lived in California for twenty years and our emergency supplies
consisted of a liter of water, a can of beans and a band aid. However, the plight
of Rick and his crew changed things for me.
After some online research, I discovered that Costco.com sells dehydrated food in buckets. Dried
fruit, dried veggies, dried meat! All varieties of powdered food with a
shelf-life of twenty years! Oh, wondrous Costco!
I placed some orders and our buckets began to arrive via
Costco courier. White buckets full of silver packets piled up. I added a few bulk purchases of my own—a couple
hundred pounds of dried beans and rice. The garage began to fill up.
Eventually, Mr. Snark noticed. "Why are you stockpiling
food? Do you know something that I don't?"
Mrs. Snark kissed him to shut him up. "It's for the
zombie apocalypse. Duh."
"Oh." Wearing a Don't-Ask expression, Mr. Snark shook his head and said. "Well,
you're going to need a clean water supply to rehydrate your food."
Well, crap. There
are moments when the man has moments of brilliant insight. What would happen to
us if a rotting zombie fell down the well and ruined the water supply? (Well, nothing really, because we draw our
water from pipes.)
But still, Mr. Snark had a point.
Back online, back to Costco.com where it just so happens
they sell water storage and purification kits. I placed my order and once again
waited for the courier, hoping the whole time that meddling scientists didn't irrevocably
alter human DNA before the purchase arrived.
Two weeks later, Mr. Snark found Mrs. Snark filling up a 5-gallon
water bladder from the kitchen sink. He frowned and his jaw worked. Don't Ask warred with curiosity and the
cat died.
"What are you doing?" Mr. Snark asked.
"Filling this bag with clean water. We now own twenty
of these 5-gallon containers."
"That's a hundred gallons of water," said Mr.
Snark, once again proving that he can do math.
"Yes it is. Give me a hand."
"Exactly where do you intend to store this? The garage
is already overflowing."
"I'm going to clear out the Harry Potter room under the
stairs."
Mr. Snark opened his mouth, and then closed it and shook his
head. "What's next? Survival training?" he asked.
Mrs. Snark's eyes lit up. "If the instructor is
anything like Darryl, then sign me up!"
No comments:
Post a Comment