Saturday, December 29, 2012

Catus Interruptus

I had another post planned for today but Mr. Snark left his drill on the children's toy box and I got distracted. Instead, I want to talk about a serious problem that plagues many cat owners...

Catus Interruptus. Defined by the Urban Dictionary as: When you are in the throes of pleasure and the cat comes in the room, hops on the bed, and throws you off your rhythm.

Most devoted cat owners know that this is a much more serious social issue than it sounds and the problem is not adequately defined. We are faceless, oppressed masses--horny, sex-deprived... Desperate.

According to The Human Society of the United States:

  • There are approximately 86.4 million owned cats in the United States
  • Thirty-three percent of U.S. households own at least one cat
  • Fifty-two percent of owners own more than one cat
  • On average, owners have two cats (2.2) 

In a recent article by Cat Psychology Institute of Massachusetts, studies have confirmed that 75% of all pet cats object to their owners having sex. (Another 75% object to their owners getting a good night sleep, but that's another article.) 

Mr. and Mrs. Snark are personally--painfully--familiar with this phenomenon. One of the three Snark cats is a Siamese named Rocket J. Squirrel.

Rocket J. Squirrel takes issues with his Snark owners trying to get it on. The cat possesses SEX DETECTION radar built on board his cat-brain, right next to the CAN OPENER SOUND ACQUISITION center.

If sex is about to happen in the Snark marriage bed, RJS knows, sensing it from anywhere within a two mile radius. He immediately comes running and then engages in Sex Discouragement behaviors including but not limited to: 

  • Loud, incessant MROWING
  • Nonstop door rattling
  • Furniture walking
  • Bed hopping

And should all else fail:

  • He attacks feet. 

Anyone who has ever interrupted sex to jump out of the bed and chase a noisy cat around a dark room knows what I'm talking about. Oh, yes.

Mrs. Snark has threatened to replace RJS with a dog.

Dog owners, tell me. Is there such a thing as Dogus Interruptus?


  1. Oh, yeah... definite dogus interruptus. Trust me. It's worse. The dog doesn't want to stop you... he wants to... :: shudder :: help. Yeah. No.

    1. Michy, Ack! That sounds like it might be worse than having a cat rattling the door. Hehe.