Thursday, December 20, 2012
More On Parking -- Parking Karma
“In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the parking sharks, the mall cops, and the forces of darkness. She is the Parking Slayer.”
I am a firm believer in parking karma. Those with good parking karma always get (the best) spot. Those with bad parking karma park on the lawn with their tires hanging over a curb and walk.
My own parking karma pretty much sucks. In a past life, I was probably a Parking Shark.
However, the Chosen One has extraordinary parking karma. I know this person and can confirm her existence. She is not merely a myth. For the sake of simplicity, and to protect her privacy, I'll call her "Susan".
I have ridden in a vehicle with the Chosen One, and it was truly a spectacular thing to behold. When Susan entered a crowded parking lot, the sea of traffic would part before her and a light would shine down from the heavens, striking an open space.
The open space was never a tricky handicap space, not readily identifiable at first glance due to faded paint or a funnily angled sign. It was never a compact space with two big SUVs to either side, crouching on the lines. There were never huge potholes or bushes to either side, waiting to grab hair and scratch skin. No posted signs restricting use or hours.
No, it was always a full size space as close to the building entrance as humanly possible without being a handicap or police space.
"How do you do it? Tell me how you do it!" I asked as she pulled off parking miracles time and again.
"Good parking karma," Susan said with a smirk.