Friday, January 11, 2013

The Golden Age

Up until about 2004, Mrs. Snark wasn't able to enter a bathroom without children in attendance. However, when her youngest son turned four, things changed. A Golden Age ensued.

 Mrs. Snark showered alone. Mrs. Snark peed without company. Mrs. Snark took bubble baths.

Sometime in 2009, insanity struck Mr. and Mrs. Snark, and they chose to become pregnant. A beautiful baby girl was born to them in April of 2010. They called her Miss Bear.

The Golden Age ended.

Fate dictated that Mrs. Snark would no longer enter a bathroom alone, but that did not stop Mrs. Snark from trying.

Now, Miss Bear and Mrs. Snark follow a daily routine of getting up, going to the gym, returning home. One morning, Mrs. Snark gave her daughter a bath and something to eat, and then left the baby safely ensconced beneath a blanket on the couch watching Dora the Explorer.

A quick safety check of the area affirmed that Mr. Snark had not left a drill on the dining room table.

Thinking she had bought fifteen minutes, Mrs. Snark went to take a shower. ALONE.

As she rinsed her hair, a whirring sound reached Mrs. Snark's ears. Opening her eyes, she saw Miss Bear clutching Mr. Snark's hair trimmer. The child had the three spinning disks going full speed and was in the process of lifting the trimmer to her face.

A vision of horror filled Mrs. Snark's mind--her daughter's corkscrew blonde curls lying in a puddle about her feet. A tiny bald head.


With a smirk, Miss Bear put the trimmer down on the counter.

Hurrying now, Mrs. Snark tried to finish up. She turned her back for just a second and when she turned back, she sighted Miss Bear once again clutching the trimmers...

This time Miss Bear went after one of the Snark family cats.  Clio is a fat gray cat who is as sweet as she is soft. She lacks the sense to run when she should.

Dripping wet, Mrs. Snark flew out of the shower and her feet promptly became entangled in the twenty towels that Miss Bear had pulled out of the linen cabinet.

Flying through the air, Mrs. Snark managed to snatch the hair trimmers from her destructive daughter's grasp before the Snarks wound up owning the world's plumpest hairless Chinese cat.

However, Mrs. Snark is still trying to figure out how she's going to explain the bald patch on the cat's side to Mr. Snark…


  1. Loved the post! That made me remember a time when my daughter was at my mother-in-laws and mother called and asked if I wanted my daughters hair in a baggie. Seems like she gave herself a haircut!

    1. Ilona, I think I did the same thing when I was three. :D Thanks for dropping in and commenting.

  2. One of my daughters gave her cousin a haircut. I can still hear my sister's screams. Geez, you would have thought she'd amputated a limb.

    1. Ah, but a daughter's hair is a mother's pride and joy. LOL Thanks for reading! :-)