I've reposted the "most helpful" customer reviews but following the link to the website is definitely worth it to read some of the others.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Guest Spot Sunday: Amazon Reviewers
Sometimes, the sarcastic reviews that people write on Amazon are simply hysterical. You've probably already seen these circulating on Facebook, but they're so funny that I wanted to do a post about them. If anyone is aware of one that I've missed, please leave a link in the comments section.
I've reposted the "most helpful" customer reviews but following the link to the website is definitely worth it to read some of the others.
This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5
stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic
happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover
my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was
immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my
shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl
at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that
approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give
them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they
didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't
settle for the first thing that comes to him.
I was a little disappointed when I first bought this item, because the
functionality is limited. My 5 year old son pointed out that the
passenger's shoes cannot be removed. Then, we placed a deadly
fingernail file underneath the passenger's scarf, and neither the
detector doorway nor the security wand picked it up. My son said
"that's the worst security ever!". But it turned out to be okay,
because when the passenger got on the Playmobil B757 and tried to hijack
it, she was mobbed by a couple of other heroic passengers, who only
sustained minor injuries in the scuffle, which were treated at the
Playmobil Hospital.
I've reposted the "most helpful" customer reviews but following the link to the website is definitely worth it to read some of the others.
This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5
stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic
happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover
my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was
immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my
shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl
at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that
approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give
them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they
didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't
settle for the first thing that comes to him.
I was a little disappointed when I first bought this item, because the
functionality is limited. My 5 year old son pointed out that the
passenger's shoes cannot be removed. Then, we placed a deadly
fingernail file underneath the passenger's scarf, and neither the
detector doorway nor the security wand picked it up. My son said
"that's the worst security ever!". But it turned out to be okay,
because when the passenger got on the Playmobil B757 and tried to hijack
it, she was mobbed by a couple of other heroic passengers, who only
sustained minor injuries in the scuffle, which were treated at the
Playmobil Hospital.
For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. "Use a knife!" they say. Well...my parole officer won't allow me to be around knives. "Shoot it with a gun!" Background check...HELLO! I had to resort to carefully attempt to slice those bananas with my bare hands. 99.9% of the time, I would get so frustrated that I just ended up squishing the fruit in my hands and throwing it against the wall in anger. Then, after a fit of banana-induced rage, my parole officer introduced me to this kitchen marvel and my life was changed. No longer consumed by seething anger and animosity towards thick-skinned yellow fruit, I was able to concentrate on my love of theatre and am writing a musical play about two lovers from rival gangs that just try to make it in the world. I think I'll call it South Side Story.
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