Monday, April 1, 2013

Like a Bent Hose

As any parent can attest, there are moments in public when your child is an angel. It just so happens, when Miss Bear is good, she's Perfection Personified. Mr. and Mrs. Snark receive compliments:

      "She's an angel."
      "She's so cute."
      "She's adorable."

Typically, Mrs. Snark responds to such flattery with a simple thank you, but other times, she tries to enlighten the uniformed. "She may look cute, but she's pure trouble."

Mr. Snark uses the analogy of the bent hose. "Miss Bear is like a bent hose. When she's being good, the hose is bent and all of the trouble is building up under pressure."

People look at us like we're nuts, but it's the truth. When Miss Bear is bad, she's the Devil.

For example, Easter brunch resulted in a Miss Bear explosion of
badness. Mrs. Snark requested a table against the wall to exercise damage control, but Mr. Snark was still heard to shout mid-meal: 


Our Scottish waiter, Dave, walked past snickering. "I have a new favorite quote now," he said.

Brunch set the tone for the rest of the day. Much mischief was made. 

During the season finale of The Walking Dead, Miss Bear came to her mother and said: "Stuck."

Several times.

"Not now Miss Bear! Mommy needs to find out whether Andrea ever manages to pick up those damn pliers with her toes!"

Miss Bear departed to other rooms.

A short time later, pounding came from the garage door.  Mrs. Snark paused her show again and went to the garage, where she found a scowling Mr. Snark locked outside.

"Why did you lock yourself out?" Mrs. Snark asked.

"I didn't lock the door!"

Miss Bear smiled. "Stuck."


I'm hosting a giveaway tomorrow, April 2nd, and I'll also be talking about my stories. Please stop by and leave a comment on Tuesday's blog entry for a chance to win.

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