Friday, March 1, 2013

To Mars! And beyond...

I read on the news that a privately funded group wants a married couple to agree to fly to Mars and back by 2018

Frankly, the idea of using a husband and wife team of astronauts for a 501 day mission is so crazy that it stands out even more than the underlying nutty idea of mounting a privately funded manned mission to Mars in five years. 

That's TWO PEOPLE trapped together for a 501-day, 36-MILLION mile journey in a space craft the size of a phone booth. There wouldn't even be a planned layover on Mars to get out and stretch their legs. The mission is just a fly by.

"Water and oxygen will be recycled in flight, so the crew will be drinking and breathing the same resources over and over throughout the journey, Inspiration Mars representatives said."

In layman's terms, they'd be recycling pee into drinking water. How would you feel about that? Just washing the hubby's underwear makes Mrs. Snark queasy... 

Not to mention the fact that you'd be unable to roll down the window and gasp for fresh air when the man lets a smelly fart rip. Hell, the necessary supply of Beano alone would exceed the mission mass budget.

It's going to take more than 501 days to find a couple willing to agree to the trip, let alone a duo psychologically stable enough to to return from the trip with a marriage that's not heading straight to Divorce Court.

Now, I want you, the reader, to imagine being trapped in a space capsule for approximately sixteen-months with your Dear Husband. Think about it—really think.

Can you see it? I can't.

I can hear it now: "Houston we've had a problem. Mr Snark has been 'accidentally' struck by a hammer thirty-seven times." 

I don't know about you but these people are FUCKING INSANE.

"And the mission planners will have to prepare for the possibility of a crew member perishing."

Yeah, no shit.

It seems probable that both astronauts would die during the mission. I imagine they would be looking forward to it.

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