Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Recalculating Route...

Why is it that a man who won't listen to his wife's advice will blindly follow the instructions of a computer navigation system? 


On two separate evenings, Mr. Snark suffered an upset stomach following the consumption of hot links. On the third occasion, Mrs. Snark said, "You shouldn't eat that. It will upset your stomach."

"I'm going to eat it anyway," Mr. Snark said. And did. And paid for it with indigestion all night long.

In the morning, he moaned and said, "I shouldn't have eaten that hot link."

"NO, REALLY?" Mrs. Snark exclaimed.

In comparison...

In 2009, Mr. and Mrs. Snark purchased their first vehicle together--a Honda Odyssey with on board GPS navigation. Soon after, the first real test of the Global Positioning System came when the Snarks took a family vacation to San Diego, an unfamiliar location.

In a curt female voice, the GPS issued instructions with the perfunctory air of a drill sergeant and any attempts to stray from the designated path resulted in a bitchy "RECALCULATING ROUTE".

The trip from the SF bay area to Los Angeles passed without incident, because--frankly--the route through the central valley is damn hard to deviate from.

In the middle of stop 'n go LA traffic, Mrs. Snark asked the hubby: "Did you remember to grab the boys' suitcase? It was sitting in the family room."

"I took only the luggage sitting in the entryway," Mr. Snark declared. 

Mrs. Snark's eyes bugged. "You forgot their suitcase?!"

Mr. Snark sniffed. "Correction: you forgot to place it in the entryway."

Mrs. Snark fumed for an hour, and then succumbed to hysterical laughter, reducing her to tears.

In San Diego, the Snark family checked into their hotel and then immediately headed to the closest Target in order to purchase enough clothing for the boys to get by on for a week.

Along the way, the GPS ordered Mr. Snark to perform an u-turn. Her directions required him to run THREE clover-leaf ramps in order to get turned around even though the traffic light offered a left turning arrow.

"Why are we running the clover leaves?" Mrs. Snark asked, gazing at the window at passing palm trees as the vehicle spun in lazy circles.

"Because the GPS said so..."

"I wonder if the GPS could be programmed to tell you to put away your laundry..."

1 comment:

  1. ROFLMAO! I do know about the pesky GPS system crap! Once, we were going to a restaurant and had it all programmed in and it told us to make a U turn and then another turn and then promptly told us we'd reached our destination, only the restaurant was on the opposite side of a divided freeway! I don't trust them as far as I can throw them. You might have better luck with laundry directions. LOL!