When You're Bad...

When Miss Bear is good, family members automatically take credit for the tyke's accomplishments--no matter how trivial or mundane.

"Oh, yes, she's a musical genius!" gushes a grandmother as the little prodigy pounds away on her xylophone. "She gets it from me. I played the flute for two years in elementary school, you know."

But when Miss Bear is bad, everyone blames Mrs. Snark.

A frazzled Mr. Snark greets Mrs. Snark at the front door as she returns from an hour out of the house shopping. "Miss Bear upended two pounds of a dried pasta and a container of cat food while you were gone," he says. "While I was cleaning that up, she drew a mural on the bonus room door in green marker."

"Well, were you watching her at all or playing on your computer the whole time?"

Mr Snark glares and delivers the pièce de résistance. "She takes after you!"

Mrs. Snark doesn't see it. Admittedly, Mrs. Snark has a small dislike of rules and sometimes challenges authority. But really? Every fault of the baby universe resides with her as a result?

Miss Bear demonstrated her first dislike of authority around the age of twelve months. When told "no, don't touch" the baby tested the parent by extending one tiny index finger toward the forbidden item. She looked you straight in the eye, smirked and touched her fingertip to the no-no.

It's been like that ever since.

Mr. Snark's favorite sport is football. 

Mrs. Snark's favorite sport is baiting Mr. Snark--nothing is too outrageous if it gets a reaction from the man.

One weekend, Mr. Snark sat on the couch clutching a game controller in both hands.  Miss Bear crept up behind him holding a cardboard square. The child balanced the cardboard directly atop her father's head and then fled, giggling up a storm. 

Mr. Snark had to sit there with the thing on his head, because to reach for it meant instant character death. Instead, he bellowed and shook it off. "Stop it, Miss Bear!"

Mrs. Snark watched the process repeat three times. The more irate Mr. Snark grew, the funnier the game became to Miss Bear.

Finally, Mrs. Snark faced a reluctant realization. "Okay, maybe she takes after me a little."