The kids had Monday off school, so Mrs. Snark slept in to the decadent hour of 8:30 a.m. She awakened abruptly to Mr. Snark and Miss Bear standing beside the bed.
"Mama, mama, mama," Miss Bear chanted, dancing around while waving a short cardboard tube.
Mr. Snark frowned and said, "Miss Bear used Curious George as cover to go on a crime spree."
"Whaa?" Groggy, Mrs. Snark gaped at the pair and wondered if she was having another one of those dreams.
"Miss Bear attacked the wrapping paper," Mr. Snark said, bending to gather up some mutilated Christmas paper.
"Urg." Mrs. Snark crawled out of bed and staggered into the bathroom.
"Mama, mama, mama," Miss Bear said.
"I had no idea she was gone," Mr. Snark said.
"There's a shocker," Mrs. Snark muttered between gritted teeth.
Mrs. Snark strengthened her resolve and got a drink of water. Then her foot encountered paper, so she looked down and saw a pile of unrolled toilet paper. A glance about the master bathroom revealed that a very short person had teepee'd the entire room.
"Miss Bear unrolled an entire roll of toilet paper to get to the cardboard tube," Mrs. Snark said, gathering up yards of paper. She shot her tiny daughter a dirty look.
Miss Bear peered back with one eye pressed to the tube and smirked.
"I had no idea she was so bad," Mr. Snark said.
Mrs. Snark eyeballed her husband. Riiight.
"She's two-and-a-half-years old," Mrs. Snark said. "Surely you must have had some clue by now."
"I had no idea she was being so bad right now," Mr. Snark amended.
Mrs. Snark said, "It'll be okay. I just need a cup of coffee and I can deal with anything."
"We're out of coffee," Mr. Snark said. "I came to tell you that I'm going to work."
Before Mrs. Snark could react, the man dropped a kiss on her forehead, kissed his dancing daughter goodbye, and ran for the door.
"Mama, mama, mama."