Mr. Snark here.
I would like to address the most recent of the aspersions heaped
upon me daily in this space, by drawing the attention of our esteemed hostess
to the conversation reproduced below:
You: I
want a Dyson vacuum for my birthday.
Me: How dumb do you think I am? I’m not buying you a
vacuum for your birthday. I’ll get in trouble.
You: No, you don’t understand. This is more than a vacuum;
it’s a status symbol, a thing that can be showed off. It makes other women
jealous. It’s what I want. Buy it.
Me: Looks like a trap.
You: Nonsense.
--Several years and one vacuum clear later--
You: Your idea of romance is a new vacuum cleaner.
Me: Doh.
In fairness, it is an excellent vacuum cleaner, aside from the speed and ease with which its contents can be emptied onto the floor by Miss Bear, for which it can hardly be faulted.
Dear John Snark. Did you tie a dozen roses to the handle of the sweeper before giving it to your wife? No? Ah, therein lies your mistake.
ReplyDeleteVonnie,
DeleteIn Mr. Snark's defense, I actually did ASK for the vacuum. :-D
No, no, Vonnie. He should have gifted her the box with the flowers inside it...the vacuum is just the added bonus that way, instead of the gift.
ReplyDeleteCalisa, great idea. My birthday is coming up again in May. Maybe he'll try that. *G*
DeleteI don't know, ladies, I'd be darned happy to get a Dyson for my birthday.... That's the Corvette of vacuum cleansers.
ReplyDeleteBut I do like Calisa's idea...
Joanne,
DeleteYes, to be honest, I really did request the Dyson. I simply can't pass on an opportunity to give Mr. Snark a hard time, especially since he predicted it would happen. ;-)
While I certainly appreciate all the advice I can get, the issue with the roses was not that they were ill-presented, but that Mrs. Snark has a strong preference for wildflowers over roses.
ReplyDeleteShe has reminded me of this on several occasions, and still, staunch traditionalist that I am, I would buy them when circumstances seemed to merit doing so. One of those circumstances is my fucking up, and since a rose purchase itself is now classed as fucking up I could easily find myself in an infinite rose loop.
Given my general mindset, the danger of entering this state has done at least as much to prevent ongoing rose purchases as Mrs. Snark’s repeated entreaties to refrain from buying her any more damn roses.
Wildflowers are also cheaper.
Dear, I'm positive that most grocery stores and florists sell wild flowers right beside the roses, probably for a quarter the price. It's not like I'm making an unreasonable request.
DeleteI'd be happier with a Dyson AND having Mr. Snark do all future vacuuming. Now THAT would be an awesome gift. lol!
ReplyDeleteLilly,
DeleteI use my teenage son for the vacuuming. Mr. Snark's job is pot washing. ;-)