Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Laundry Hampers: Mass Male Confusion...

"Why is this on the floor?" Mrs. Snark asks, scooping up Mr. Snark's wadded boxer shorts and sweats off the bathroom floor.

 "I'm in the shower," Mr Snark says in a patronizing tone. "Obviously, I can't shower clothed."  

Well DUH. 

Based upon anecdotal evidence, none of the Snark men appear to understand the purpose of laundry hampers. The root of the issue may be genetic or it may be gender-related. Mrs. Snark is unsure, but what she does know is that wet towels are piled on the backs of toilets, socks and underwear are kicked under beds, pants and shirts are dropped in random piles throughout the house.

Mrs. Snark has taken measures to ensure the wide spread availability, ease of use, and understanding of laundry hampers:

  • The Snark household has FIVE separate laundry hampers, one for each bedroom and then a spare outside of the children's bathroom. 
  • Mrs. Snark empties laundry hampers daily, so they are never full. 
  • Mrs. Snark has removed all lids from laundry hampers so they are not confusing or difficult to use. 
  • Mrs. Snark has measured all containers and eliminated any that might be too tall for a prospective male to reach. Miss Bear, who is the shortest member of the Snark household, is the yardstick. Not a single laundry hamper is taller than the tot. Also, Miss Bear manages to drop dirty clothes into designated containers. (Along with shoes, toys, TV remotes and various other household items...) Thus proving that the feat is physically feasible for taller individuals to accomplish.

 Mrs. Snark conducts frequent seminars in laundry hamper use. She stands before the assembled Snark men with a white board and markers, drawing diagrams with helpful directional arrows.

Then she smiles encouragingly and performs a live demonstration, gently dropping a waded shirt into a hamper. "See! It's easy! It saves floorspace and cuts back on mold! You can do it, yes you can!"


  1. Melissa,
    Loved the post! We have a laundry chute from the second floor to the basement. If something gets stuck on the way down, usually one of our encyclopedia books follow after it. I've had to sort out books from the laundry in the basement.

    1. Ilona, I usually write these sorts of posts from bursts of pure frustration. :D

      We have a two-story house but no laundry chute. I often wish for one. The closest I get is standing on the balcony over the downstairs hallway and shouting "clear" before I throw the laundry over the railing. *EG*