The Cover Up

Mrs. Snark likes to park dead center in the middle of any available space. Unfortunately, Mrs. Snark shares a two-car driveway with Mr. Snark who--quite unreasonably--expects his wife to stay on her side of the center line.

However, Mr. Snark's expectations are not always the same as reality.

One Saturday, Mr. and Mrs. Snark swapped vehicles because the Snark men wanted to go skiing. Mrs. Snark and Miss Bear had a nice girls-only outing to the gym. Upon returning home, Mrs. Snark absentmindedly parked.

Dead center.

Middle of driveway.

Monday morning came, and Mrs. Snark could not find her vehicle in the driveway. Only Mr. Snark's car occupied the area in front of the garage.

"Where's my car?" Mrs. Snark asked her middle son.

"It's across the street," the boy said. "You parked in the middle of the driveway again. Mr. Snark said..."

Abrupt, telling silence fell as the boy cut his words short.

Mrs. Snark turned to the lad. eyebrows climbing. "What exactly did Mr. Snark say?" she asked sweetly.

His eyes darted around the room and he bit his lower lip, mumbling. "Nothing..."

Mrs. Snark's curiosity doubled. "What did Mr. Snark say about my parking?"

Easy enough to imagine: Mr. Snark has a vocabulary like a tramp steamer sailor.

Under pressure, the boy caved. "Nothing. He just said it annoyed him when you park in the middle of the driveway."

"Uh-huh."

Riight. Mr. Snark's angry vocabulary doesn't actually contain the word 'annoyed'...

Mrs. Snark tracked down Mr. Snark and confronted him without any children present. "What did you say to the boys about my parking this weekend?"

"I said that it really pisses me off when your mother parks in the middle of the driveway," Mr. Snark said. "Why?"

"The Middle Child tried to cover for you."

Mr. Snark looked thoughtful. "That's actually rather touching."