Wednesday, May 8, 2013

The Silent NOW

I'd like to talk about another perception related male disordered that afflicts Mr. Snark. 
This one doesn't have a name (yet) but I'm open to suggestions.

Mrs. Snark says, "I'd like you to build a planter in the back yard, Mr. Snark."

An immediate interrupt enters Mr. Snark's mind and he hears the word "NOW" embedded within the request. The man assumes he must respond immediately. I kid you not. 

If Mr. Snark had Miss Bear within his grasp, dangling over the Grand Canyon, Mr. Snark would think that he had to drop the tot, allowing her to plummet to her death, so that he could get right on that damn planter without delay.

The occurrences of "NOW" syndrome are numerous, and apparently, incurable. Mrs. Snark has attempted snark-chasm and pointing out the obvious to no avail.

Mrs. Snark calls her husband from Costco. "There's a cot here that might work for camping. I want you to look at it."

"I can't go to Costco right now," Mr. Snark snaps. "You have my Costco card."

Mrs. Snark sighs. Once again, her husband has inserted the silent NOW. She knows he's at work and actually doesn't expect him to immediately drop everything to go rushing down to look at camping cots.

NOW syndrome only happens in response to relatively unimportant requests to which Mrs. Snark attaches low priority. In the actual instances when Mrs. Snark means NOW, Mr. Snark thinks, Yawn. No rush.

"Mr. Snark, I want you to put your laundry basket away. It's been sitting there for three weeks and I'm going to strangle you if you don't get your butt into gear."  Do it NOW. GRRRRR...

"Yes, dear. I'll get right on that."

There's no assumption of urgency at all.  

Why? WHY????????

Because Mrs. Snark actually means NOW for real and not just in the man's vivid imagination.


  1. lol. He must like to build things. I fear my husband has never had NOW syndrome. *sigh* Enjoy it!

    1. Ha! You're right, of course. I should embrace the moments when he wants to jump right into something.

      I'll stop scolding him. From now on, when he wants to jump, I'll shout "Now!" :D