Saturday, April 26, 2014

Gizoogle translates Male Pattern Blindness

tha milk
Mista Muthafuckin Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Snark: "I can't find tha milk!"
Mrs. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Snark: "Therez a gallon jug behind tha inch-high forty of tabasco sauce. Look straight ahead."
Mista Muthafuckin Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Snark: "Huh. Oh, yeah. I peep it"
Mrs. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Snark: "I don't peep how tha fuck you could have missed dat shit."

Do dis exchange sound familiar, biatch?  What nuff couplez do not realize is dat dis thug behavior is indicatizzle of a much pimped outer ailment.

What tha fuck iz Male Pattern Blindness?
 Male Pattern Blindnizz (MPB) is defined as tha inabilitizzle ta locate a object lyin up in tha open n' up in plain sight; objects which is often located easily by a biatch. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.  While most often associated wit adult men, Male Pattern Blindnizz be a cold-ass lil common problem fo' malez of all ages.  Da term "oblivious" was once loosely used ta imply tha same condition.

How tha fuck common is Male Pattern Blindness?

Male Pattern Blindnizz is mad common. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.  Although most
chicken n' gravy biatch
99.99% of all pimps between tha agez of 18 n' 120 have some degree of thug pattern blindnizz (classified as mild, moderate or severe).
    At least 1 up in 10 pimps cannot perceive anythang at all (complete MPB).
    Da majoritizzle of causez of thug pattern blindnizz is menstrual up in nature.
    Da prevalence of MPB increases wit age.

Male Pattern Blindnizz Causes: Psychological/Physical
Psychological factors account fo' bout 90% of MPB problems n' often result from obtuseness, obliviousness, or dependence upon a biatchz mobilitizzle ta find stuff. These factors cause a menstrual blinder ta be erected between tha eyebizzle n' dome, thus resultin up in perception difficulty. Psychological MPB may become self-perpetuating. This can become a vicious cycle which is hard as fuck ta break without assistance.

Physical factors account fo' bout 10% of casez of MPB, n' often result from near- or far-sightednizz or blindness.   Research indicates dat such vision problems is easily erectable followin a trip ta tha eye doctor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.

Male Pattern Blindness' Adverse Effects on Daily Life
A playa wit MPB may experience vibe of low motivation, frustration, denial n' dependence upon his crazy-ass mutha or biatch partner n' shiznit yo. Dude may be unable ta engage up in everyday tasks like fuckin rollin if he is unable ta locate his hoopty keys (or vehicle). Personal n' bidnizz relationshizzlez can be adversely affected if it is left untreated.

Importizzle of Proactively Treatin Male Pattern Blindness
As wit any debilitatin condition, Male Pattern Blindnizz should be treated immediately. Da sooner it is recognized n' addressed, tha mo' likely tha chancez of a gangbangin' favorable outcome. If left untreated, tha condizzle may worsen wit time. Da longer a playa goes without tha mobilitizzle ta function as a perceptizzle individual, tha mo' likely his dome will experience "disuse atrophy".

Often peeped up in pimps over tha age of eighteen, MPB can affect thugs also.  Accordin ta tha Massachusetts Male Perception Study, which was da most thugged-out-comprehensive survey of thug perception dysfunction, MPB affects vast segmentz of tha population. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.  For example:

 English version here



  1. So basically it's my fault he can't find stuff. Cause he knows I'll find it for him? Probably started with his love it Melissa!

    1. Mary,
      It took me a while to realize that I was enabling my own guys. It's a hard thing to own. Good luck! ;-)