The Mystery of the Missing Fish

Miss Bear has a Siamese Fish. It is blue and lives in a bowl in the kitchen. She got it for her birthday last year. She likes it a lot but I take care of it.

On Friday night, Mr. Snark returned to bed following a downstairs excursion. I was sound asleep, so obviously, he thought it was an appropriate time to drop a bomb.

Mr. Snark: "Do you know that the fish isn't in his bowl?"

Instantly, my eyeballs popped wide open. Mind going a million miles an hour, I shook his arm.  "If he's not in his bowl, then where the hell did he go? It's not like he went out for cigarettes and never came back! Are you sure you just didn't miss him?"

Mr. Snark:  Snore

I remained in bed for a couple minutes, having one of those He's-Got-To-Be-Kidding moments. He had to be screwing with me. It sounds like just the sort of thing Mr. Snark would think is funny at 1A.M.  The other possibilities were that he had simply suffered from a bout of MPB or I'd dreamed it.

After failing to return to sleep, I sprang out of bed and dashed downstairs to the kitchen. Upon throwing the overhead lights on, I discovered the following at the scene of the crime:

• an empty fishbowl
• a splash of water
• a torn aquatic plant leaf beside the bowl
• a glass bead from the bowl on the tile.

The house was locked and the Snark boys were away for a sleepover. Miss Clio had refused to come inside, leaving the following residents inside the premises: Mr. Snark, Miss Bear, myself, Jake the Snake, and Bolt (the new kitten).

I'm going to assume that no human ingested Miss Bear's fish as a quick midnight snack.  And the new kitten is too small to jump up onto the counter where the bowl was placed.  Either a cat ate him or an unknown fishnapper broke into our home without any sign of forced entry and abducted him.

My primary suspect at this time:

The empty bowl is still sitting on the counter. I still haven't told Miss Bear. My options seem to be going down to the pet store and buying a new fish or continuing to pretend to feed an invisible fish. What do you think I should do?

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