What Not To Say....

Writing a romance novel is more than simply stringing together a string of pretty phrases, more than just kisses and moans. Words must be chosen with care to attain a delicate balance of poetry and motion. Words are crafted; love scenes forged as a blacksmith works with steel. The author sets aside her more trivial concerns, ignoring the fact that her knees hurts or her house is a disaster and strives for divinity.

Because you can only imagine how scenes would come out if the author allowed her real life concerns to intrude upon the scene—

He broke the kiss and turned his face into the side of her throat. He suckled on her earlobe and then applied a kiss to the sensitive skin just below her ear. His large hands reached the tops of her thighs, encircled her hips, and his fingers splayed across her ass. He urged her lower body forward even as his lips kissed her chest, the breastbone and the V between her breasts. Cassie whimpered and shook with frustration, wanting so much more than the safe caresses. “Tell me what you want,” Kyle groaned, voice rough. 

 “I want…” She opened her mouth to vocalize her desires."You to finally fix the leaky faucet in the bathroom."

"Sure, honey, anything you want, baby."

  

Our hero plods forth, oblivious to her extreme irritation that the task had gone undone going on three weeks despite her repeated requests.

Kills the mood, don't it?

In real life, women bring up this sorta stuff because we know that our man is most amendable to pleasing us when he's thinking about his dick. Guys aren't the most romantic lot. Most of the time they just plow through our complaints and requests, but sometimes, every once is a great while, something gets done. A picture gets hung or the oil gets changed as a result of sex-requests, enough to reinforce the behavior in the female mind. Rather like Pavlov's salivating dogs. 

I guess romance novel heroines just don't need anything done. 

I've noticed that couples in romance novels never break from their sex-Olympics for a bathroom break. The heroine never jumps up in the middle of oral sex, saying, "My mouth has dried out. I need a glass of water." No one is ever too hot or too cold or just plain uncomfortable.

What's up with that?